Dr. Robert Romano: I’m beginning to think that “ER” stands for “everyone’s retarded”.

Dr. Doug Ross: I’m not a grown-up doctor.
Nurse Lydia Wright: Yes, we know.

Dr. Elizabeth Corday: There are things scurrying about in the walls. Do you know what scurries about in walls, Mark?
Dr. Mark Greene: Bunnies?

Dr. Luka Kovac: Why do you have to make such a big problem about everything? Like you have an insect in your anus.
Abby Lockhart: Okay, it’s bug up my ass Luka. Bug up my ass. If you’re going to insult me you could at least get the words right.

Jerry Markovic: Dr. Ross, this came for you.
Dr. Mark Greene: Bad news?
Dr. Doug Ross: No. Just got denied a loan by a bank whose motto is “We loan money to anyone.”